Wellspring: inspiration and guidance for a spiritual journey

The art of facilitating, by Joy Collins

Like all of us Wellspring bloggers, I have a “day job” – mine being a professional facilitator and trainer in Corporate America. Last week at the end of a leadership series I was teaching, one of the leaders came up and told me a horror story about a previous, botched leadership series she had attended at her company. Apparently the trainer created an exercise where all the leaders shared private, very personal stories from their past.  This trainer then in subsequent sessions continued bringing up this woman’s story, to the point where the leader finally left the class in tears. My client was expressing relief and gratitude that my leadership series was so much more affirming, helpful and targeted.

I can sympathize with this leader, and also have an inkling of what that other trainer was trying (miserably) to accomplish. CONTACT. As the famous mother of the self-esteem movement, Virginia Satir, so eloquently wrote,

Contact
I believe
the greatest gift
I can conceive of having
from anyone
is
to be seen by them,
heard by them,
to be understood
and
touched by them.

The greatest gift
I can give
is
to see, hear, understand
and to touch
another person.

When this is done
I feel
contact has been made.

Who wouldn’t want this? How do we create this type of authentic connection in our Wellspring groups, while respecting people’s privacy and right to remain silent? Clearly that original trainer had attempted it in a terrible, nail-on-the-chalkboard way.

In one of our early Wellspring groups I took at risk, and it could have gone either way. I/we were fortunate. At the time, fairly early in the church year, a participant shared a great personal difficulty during the small group check-in. Our Parker Palmer inspired covenant would have suggested I nod in sympathy and move on. But my heart told me to do something different. As a liberal, I don’t usually take advice from my conservative Christian sister, but I could hear her voice in my head. I turned to our Wellspring participant and asked if she would be interested in the rest of us praying for her situation over the next two weeks? Now for my sister, this would have been a no-brainer, but for an intellectual group of Unitarians? I worried I had overstepped my bounds. Were those nails I was hearing on a chalkboard? After a very long moment, the participant said she might like that. And then offered to email us a photograph about her great difficulty. By the time we got around the room to listen to the rest of the check-in’s, two more participants asked for specific ways the group could hold them in their thoughts. It was a turning point for our group, and moved us beyond being primarily a study group - to that place of deep, Satir-like CONTACT. We all felt it.

In the other Wellspring and small church covenant groups I have facilitated, the “contact” came sooner or sometimes later. It never comes in quite the same way. Hence the “art” of facilitating. There are tips, but no formulae. If I go too far in pushing, I’d end up with a situation like the leader leaving the room in tears. If I don’t nudge slightly, that opportunity for deep human connecting might not happen, especially in our intellectually laden UU small groups. What has worked for you? When and how was that magic of “contact” created? How much of this can a facilitator influence? What is simply the universe at work?

Growing Up Unitarian, by Libby Moore

As a Wellspring facilitator, I look forward to our monthly planning session with the other facilitator and our associate minister. It's a little like our own Wellspring meeting, even though there are only the three of us, and it nourishes us all. We start out with a check-in, just as we do in our groups, and then we review what we've done in the most recent Wellspring sessions and where we're going next. And that's the exciting part.

In the Wellspring program, we're moving this week from spiritual journeys to our Unitarian Universalist history, starting with a discussion about the UU Principles and Purposes. Last year we had this discussion at the end of the year. We realized that participants who were new to our denomination hadn't always understood the threads woven through the history readings because they didn't know what we believe in common as UU's, so now we're discussing the principles and purposes earlier in the year. We talk about our current beliefs in the context of what we still keep from our childhood faith traditions – or lack thereof – and what we have rejected from those traditions.

Unlike others in my Wellspring group, my faith tradition is Unitarian. From the time I was three or four, I was raised in the Unitarian church, went to Unitarian Sunday school and joined LRY as a teenager. But I wasn't comfortable standing out from the crowd, and being a Unitarian felt a little weird to me. The only easy explanation of our beliefs was that we believed "in the divinity of man [sic – this was the fifties, after all] and the humanity of Jesus." One year in Sunday school we studied the Church Around the Corner, visiting different churches and synagogues, and I wanted to convert to any one of them because they seemed so certain of what they believed – and they had great rituals, unlike my austere Unitarian church.

So in my first year of Wellspring, the readings on Unitarian history opened my eyes and my heart. It gave me an appreciation for the long history of Unitarians – a tradition of brave, independent thinkers who dared to challenge authority because of their conviction that they had the right to think for themselves. It's taken me years to recognize that my values and beliefs come from these forbearers, strong, brave people who were seen as heretics in their time. I love Wellspring because it encourages us to think for ourselves while valuing the beliefs we hold in common. It has helped me articulate my own beliefs in my own language – and, most importantly, to feel comfortable speaking about those beliefs to others. I am truly a Unitarian Universalist and glad for it, and Wellspring has given me the tools I need to tell the world about it. May it be so for all of us.

The Theology of Joy, by Libby Moore

I love this time of year, basking in end-of-summer peace and quiet but also looking ahead to what's coming in the fall. The beginning of school was always a pleasure to me, getting back to new subjects, new teachers, friends, books. Even as a retired adult, I find that September brings the promise of new things. The lazy summer days are made sweeter with the anticipation of good work to come.

Wellspring is good work, indeed. Jen and Joy and I met last week to prepare for our new groups, which will start getting to know each other at our retreat in September and then meet regularly every two weeks after that. Members of the new groups have been preparing, also – finding their spiritual directors, getting books, starting to think about their spiritual practices. I've been hearing from them with questions, especially about spiritual direction, which is so foreign to UU's. It's exciting to think of these wonderful people coming together with their stories and strengths, their openness and their resistance to change, growing together over time into a cohesive, supportive unit.

One of the things Jen and Joy and I did in our planning was to revise one of the sessions. We realilzed that we made room for the crises of life and how UU's face those and that we talk about perspectives on evil, but we hadn't included anything about joy. How do we, with our Puritanical roots, incorporate joy into our spiritual lives? Is joy an integral part of our religious experience? Our UU heritage stresses service to the world, the interdependent web of existence, truth and justice. All good, but what about the joy that comes with connection and love? Is that a legitimate part of our theology? We thought we'd use one Wellspring session to explore these questions. (We removed the session on our local church history, since we talk about that in other contexts).

The reading list for this topic isn't firmed up yet, but there are so many possibilities. There's an article from the Kripalu newsletter called "The Yoga of Pleasure," by Sally Kempton, which talks about including simple pleasures in our spiritual lives. There's a book called Stumbling on Happiness, which talks about why we're so often dissatisfied and about the surprising ways we find ourselves happy. There's a lovely book of poetry called Dancing with Joy by Roger Housden, which celebrates joy in its many manifestations. We're joyful at the idea of putting this session together and adding it to our already rich curriculum. If you'd like to take a look at the revised curriculum, click on the Wellspring Curriculum link in the column on the right.

Wellspring shares resources just in time for GA

We are more than a little bit excited about being able to share our Wellspring experience and resources with all of you who are interested in starting a Wellspring program at your congregation.

Jen, Joy and Libby are flying off to Portland, prepared to give a great presentation on Wellspring on Thursday from 1-2:15. It's an awesome overview with some great anecdotes and testimonies, if I do say so myself!

As part of our commitment to share the word, we have created a page on this blog for Wellspring Program Information. Check the sidebar link. You will find a brief overview of our program complete with FAQ's, a curriculum outline with reading resources and a comprehensive facilitators study guide.

All you need are participants and a chalice! Please remember we are always available for consultation and support and check into the blog frequently as we all muse about our spiritual journey as good UU's.

peace

Wellspring goes to GA

Wellspring is not just the name of our blog, it is an engaging spiritual deepening program rooted in the Unitarian Universalist faith tradition and originated by Rev. Jen Crow at First Unitarian Church of Rochester NY.

This month at General Assembly Jen, Joy Collins and Libby Moore, Wellspring facilitators, will present an overview of the program complete with video of past participants and guides for starting a Wellspring program at your church.

The presentation is on Thursday from 1-2:15 pm. We are on page 26 of the GA Program book, which you can get to via the UUA website.

Wellspring – A Unitarian Universalist Program for Spiritual Deepening

Come join in the story of Wellspring, an intensive 10-month spiritual deepening program for Unitarian Universalists taking shape out of the First Unitarian Church of Rochester, NY. Now in its second year of success, Wellspring offers a spiritual journey dedicated to claiming, re-imagining, and practicing the ever-evolving living tradition of our faith.

Presenters: Joy Collins and Rev. Jennifer Crow

We are hoping to spread the good news about Wellspring and share our experiences and our insights with all who are interested. See you there!

How to close the door, by Joy Collins

Last week I finally cleaned out my closet. Like most, I have always had a hard time with that task. It’s not easy to give clothes away. One jacket reminds me of an exuberant time in my life. A pair of shoes, even though out of style, brings a feeling of comfort. I might fit into a pair of funky jeans if I lose that five pounds. I get anxious putting all of that in a giveaway bag. It is as if I am giving my life away. And yet, a day later, I mostly feel the relief of less stuff and more space. It reminds me once again how hard it is to let go, and how symbolic something like clothing or shoes can be.

Which in turn reminds me that this year’s Wellspring group is coming to a close and I need to begin to let go. My feelings of sadness and anxiety are similar. Participants have made comments like:

“Let’s find a way to keep meeting.”
“I’m sad about the possibility of our group not getting together.”
“What’s our plan for continuing this?”

Facilitating a small group ministry can be a joyful and challenging task. Some aspects like celebrating our compassion, are easy and life affirming, some aspects are difficult and require soul searching.

How do I, as facilitator, and we, as a group of seven, say good-bye to this wonderfully deep, laughter-filled, poignancy punctuated time together? Or at a minimum mark the change from an intense 2-3 times a month group, to the occasional social gathering? How do we put the now comfortable “old shoes” of how we’ve been together, into that giveaway bag?

My feeble answer seems to be, to encourage myself and others to sit with the loss and the fear of change. and to be in that moment with the sadness. But also to celebrate what we have had in our year together, and the beauty of connection that is possible when openhearted souls come together on the journey. Thank you, Wellspring Group of 2007!

Reluctance by Robert Frost

…Ah, when to the heart of man
Was it ever less than a treason
To go with the drift of things,
To yield with a grace to reason,
And bow and accept the end
Of a love or a season?